I'm Here

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog but well I've had a whirlwind happen to me these last few days and just couldn't post..so here I am to bare my soul today.. On Sunday Morning I woke up just after 8 am and I sat up and all of a sudden I had an intense pain like someone was stabbing me over and over again in my stomach in my pelvic area so I got up went to the bathroom and tried to lay back down figuring it may just be nothing so I tried to lay down and it just hurt worse and the tears started pouring down my cheeks I could take it it hurt so bad my husband didn't know what was going on or what to do so he rushed to the phone and called the ambulance they came a few minutes later and asked me the level of my pain and I said 10 out of 10 and they loaded me in and took me to the hospital I get a room right away and they start asking me questions and insert an IV in my arm and take my blood they came in and gave me some demerol for the pain and told me the doctor would be in pretty quickly to see me the doctor came in and was asking me questions and touched my stomach and was concerned I said that I have an IUD in place and thought that it may have slipped and got stuck somewhere. He then said they were waiting on my blood results. So abit later the doctor came back with my blood results and told me that I was pregnant I said oh my "Ok" and he said you didn't know I said i had no idea and he said he thought it maybe etopic..so he went to get the OBGYN she came down and talked to me about etopic pregnancy and what it does and how it has to be treated and said she wanted me to have an ultrasound. So a few minutes later off to Ultrasound I go and I was in so much pain they do the ultrasound and the lady says..oh my no wonder your in pain and i asked why and she said she could see some blood in my stomach, I was just in shock and didn't know what they meant or what to do. I've never had anything like that happen to me before. at that point I'm just praying to God that my baby is ok and where it's supposed to be. So they take me back to my room and a few minutes later the doctor comes back in and tells me that it's an etopic pregnancy and I have to go for surgery to get it removed I say ok but really am scared as hell since I've never had any kind of surgery before. I ask if I can call my husband to tell him what's going on and they say ok..I use the phone and talk to him for a few minutes hang up and go to walk back to my room and everything goes blurry I couldn't see a thing and almost fall to the floor the nurse grabs me and rushes me back to bed and tells me to breath and then I start to feel better and she tells me not to move out of bed. The nurse talked to me mom and DH and my mom said that she would watch the kids so Dave could be there with me when I got out of surgery. 20 minutes later I'm being wheeled up to the OR and I'm scared and they lay me on the bed and put that mask on my face and tell me to breath I remember doing that about 5 times and that's it then the next thing I know I'm in a room in bed and it's all over and DH is sitting there. Then the nurse comes in and tells me that my blood levels are really low and that I'm Anemic and they need to give me a blood transfusion I agree and they start that about 7 hours later and I recieved alot of blood. The doctor told me that the baby was in my ovary and that hardly ever happens and that I had alot of blood in my stomach and they also found a cyst on my ovary so I believe they removed that ovary from me. it's been 5 days and I'm home now got home yesterday and still have some pain they took the staples off yesterday and my stomach seems to be healing nicley so I'm taking 3 iron pills a day aswell as Tylenol for the pain every 4 hours as I need it. I'm feeling really sad that I lost the baby but I guess it just wan't meant to be everything happens for a reason and it's just so sad and hard to get over, over the coming few weeks I have to go every monday for blood tests to check my levels and then in 6 weeks I have to see the OBGYN and get the IUD out and I tell you I am NEVER getting another one in!!!! but I didn't happen to finish up a scrap page of what happened kinda a letter to the baby I lost as you can see. Well I'm off to go and relax and sit down for abit can't sit here on this chair for long it hurts if I do.